The first thing that came out of my mouth as I walked into the Broadway Comedy club this Wednesday was probably something along the lines: “Oh please for the love of GOD do not put me up front.” The only time that one should sit up in the front row of a comedy club is if said person is willing to be heckled, and this case I was not. Nevertheless fate was not on my side and sure enough I was on my own front and center staring down the face of my host. They called her Sassy, and at the time of this writing she is on her way to becoming a moderately successful stand up comedian who has made several appearances on MTV and Comedy Central. For my beloved host, it must have been a bit of an off night. Many of her jokes fell flat and her overall stage presence and performance just made myself and many in the audience uncomfortable. So she did what many comedians do when in a bind and found easy targets in the audience to make fun of, which of course includes your talentless and tasteless friend, Sean Contris. “Where are you from sweetie?” She asked probably hoping that I would say the name of a country or state that was easy to mock. “Seattle” I lied, because nobody knows or cares about Tacoma Washington. It was from here on out that I was called Seattle, I came to embody the Emerald city that night. It didn’t matter that someone else in the audience had cheered when I said “Seattle,” the caveman equivalent of saying “Yes! I am from there as well.” I was Seattle, and my host must have found humor in my combination tye dye t-shirt and heart shaped glasses that hung from my collar as she decided that I was the one worth attacking. “How old are you?” She asked next, “15, 16?” “No I’m 12” I said with a smile on my face. She laughed and continued “Oh really? That was my next guess. No really how old are you?” “I’m 20” I said. “You poor thing, so close too.” Here she pauses and says “what are you doing after the show?” and licks her lips. “You” I think to myself but don’t have the balls to say. “You’re adorable” she laughs and she then starts the show.
Rather than seeing the one great comedian I had actually come to see (Marc Maron) I was instead treated to a total of six rising comedians, all of whom were at the very least, entertaining. Included in the bunch were the two standouts, Nore Davis, a comedian who has performed for Comedy Central, and the eccentric Kevin Downey Jr of America’s Got Talent Fame. Between the two of them, Downy Jr is certainly the superior performer. It has been said that a great stand up comedian must have three things on stage in order to be successful, good jokes, a good character and good delivery. In Downey Jr’s case, the character greatly overshadows everything else. Thankfully, he was a truly memorable one. Downy Jr. stood on stage before us, towering over the crowd, damn near motionless, only moving to take a drink which he would signify by yelling “SIP” into the mic. He delivered every joke in the same monotone voice, only breaking character when surprised that his jokes were not disturbing to the audience. Davis on the other hand is a much more straightforward comedian and has graduated from the Dave Chapelle school of comedy, as many of his jokes were directed at racial relations in America. One joke in particular was quite potent “Imagine” he said “If we went back in time and sent Africans over to Britain and we enslaved them. Imagine that, imagine if it was reversed?” The crowd then fell silent “Yeah it’s not so funny when it’s happening to you guys, is it?” He said. Unfortunately the other four comedians were less memorable than Davis and Downey Jr, to the point where I can’t recall their names or any of their jokes. In light of my recent perhaps foolish desire to become a stand up comedian its actually quite nice to be presented with a range of not only quality, but style. Despite the fact that only two of the comedians were actually worth discussing, it was a great to see a range of comedians, each with their own flavor and style of performance.
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